Children & Remarriage

There’s been much discussion within the Church on the plight of those divorcing and/or remarrying as Catholics. These conversations and points-of-view seem to be trying to clarify or redefine what the Church has consistently taught. Whatever your stance on this topic, I would like to add an important aspect to this dialogue. I ask that we step back and address a group of people who are intimately tied to the remarriage process, but seem to remain invisible. Who are these forgotten souls? The children. Whether the adult couple is in an ‘irregular’ union or annulled and free to remarry, their children remain a forgotten minority. They are powerless to be heard or to participate in an impending marriage that will profoundly affect their lives. How is it that we are still talking about an adult’s desire for the Eucharist, as long as they are not required to abstain from sex, while countless children are being reassigned parents? These children are tossed about from home to home; step-parent to parent as if they are nothing more than accessories. The Church needs to update its policies to account for the ever increasing number of remarriages with children, by involving the children in the process. Remarriage (in the Church after annulment) with children should be seen as a ‘special’ circumstance that requires extra steps. For the emotional, spiritual, and psychological health of these children, as well as increasing the chance for success of this new union, children must be involved in the process of their parent’s remarriage and the reforming of their family.