Divorce & the Family

Jesus & ChildrenOriginally published at CatholicMom.com

I am a single mother of five beautiful children. My oldest is 22 and my youngest is 12.  I have passed the diaper, potty training and dressing stage. I no longer need to brush anyone’s hair or teeth, rock anyone to sleep or wipe noses. The hefty physicality of chasing toddlers has long passed, and has been replaced by the emotional, psychological and spiritual work of guiding, healing and protecting their minds and souls.

A few years ago, my family fell apart as another woman inserted herself into my role. All the articles I had read listed higher statistics of drug use, promiscuity and high school dropouts in single family homes. I began to panic. How on earth was I going to combat the world’s dark influence along with their father’s public scandal and how could I do it alone? Absolutely terrifying…after many good cries, I knew the first truth: I wasn’t alone. I had family and friends, a good Catholic school for my children’s formation and more importantly I had the Holy Family.

The adoption into the Holy Family was the Continue reading

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Divorce & Healing

 

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“Time heals all wounds,” or so they say, but what does that look like? Yes, time passes, but in and of itself it does not always heal. Sometimes it cements bitterness and creates a cancer. Healing is not passive. It’s active and it’s a choice. In the beginning I didn’t seek this path because I’m an emotionally healthy person, I sought it for my children. To be the mother they needed, I had to work through the pain and hate that had moved into my heart. Later I sought to forgive my former spouse in an attempt to relinquish the victim role and free myself from the remaining power he had.

After the initial shock wore off from this marital assault, I believed that if I prayed
fervently, stayed close to Christ in the sacraments and allowed time to pass then I would eventually ‘heal.’  But as time wore on I was not seeing the results I expected to see.  Why wasn’t I being restored? It was frustrating. Finally, I experienced three important truths: